Maybe I do need some love - because quite frankly, it's lacking in all the places I go to and even in some of the people I speak to. (No, just one person actually. That person should have been the go all, tell all person. But that person isn't at the moment. They are just yelling at me for being sad. And isn't giving me the support system I need. Everything is so scattered right now I can't tell you how much I just want to run away and clear my mind.)
Thank God I am going to New York on Monday. I am so sorry Bandos but I am going to New York to see family that I need to see. But rest assured, I will see you very soon, definitely during Spring Break. I'll let you all know! I miss all of you!!
Hopefully New York and its attendees will be there to give me the love and support I need. I am sort of dwindling. Everything, for the most part is taking a downfall and I'm not sure where to start. Where to start patching up the wounds. I need to clear my mind. Get a break from overworking myself and having the results backfire. I mean, I have DC to look forward to, if I have the money... Let's just say DC is going to be my home, away from home. That sanctuary that I have always longed for.
I want to buy this coat that costs about $220 and it will last forever (Lifetime guarantees never lie). I've been wanting a coat like that for some time. Yet, this person just keeps on yelling and yelling at me. It'll be nice if someone could just politely talk to me, for once, now that I am back at home. Why is that whenever I come home, things have to turn out to be such bad news? What have I done to deserve this belittlement? Like really God, what did I do? I know life isn't fair sometimes but it's as if everything is turning their back on me. Where is the love? Do I even deserve it?
My mom also said the rudest thing to me today and due to her tenacious name calling and whatever, I have a thick skin about it. I am so used to all these rude statements she spits in my face. I just ignore her and move on. She really needs to listen to Paramore's "Playing God." I dedicate that song to her. She's such a hypocrite. It's funny because when people say mean things about her, I get angry because they do not fully know her. I do and I feel that I have the complete authority to do so.
Yay, the super glue in my hand is 90% gone. So much for turpentine haha. I have the best solution to remove unwanted super glue: boredom.
People are probably going to think I am emo after reading a few of these recent entries. Well whatever. I am not. I overwork myself and I get null. I think you'd be upset too...especially from a flawed perfectionist like me.
