I hate change. I really do. But I am thinking about changing my template for this blog. I saw a really nice one, but I am still hesitant.
I guess with my condition and all, I am bound to be emotional and sappy. Not that I care, I'm sort of used to it. I cry on many occasions. Not in public though. I cried a few times in public and it was probably one of the worst things I've gone through. Because everyone just stares at you with their beady little eyes and wonder what's going on. Why you look like that. Why are you crying? Why now? Crying in the bathroom always works, but flushing the toilet can only do so much.
Sometimes I feel like I have nobody to confine to. I don't know why I think that way. But I do. It's hard being a bit far away from your family and friends, that the only way I deal with my problems now is turn on my heating pad and lie down. But now, thanks to one of my roommates, she has a huge set of movies. I just finished watching Legally Blonde. And I might be watching Juno after I'm done writing.
Legally Blonde and Juno are amazing movies that somewhat relate to my life. When I have motivational problems, parts of my life that I don't really care about, I watch Legally Blonde. Elle Woods is so motivated and she stays true to herself, despite all the rude people that envelop her world. Right now, I am seeing a lot of snotty people who are just endlessly rude. Elle had to deal with that, and she was extremely graceful in dealing with those people. Juno, on the other hand, is experiencing a "problem." The "problem" of an unplanned pregnancy and with the help of her friend's and family, she gets through it. Sure, she will experience many bumps along the way (haha) but at the end of it all, you just got to ask questions, find answers, and go with what your heart tells you.
I think Elle and Juno are perhaps my favorite movie characters of all time. They are so witty, funny, and true to them-self. I think that's really important. Everyone experiences problems and it's important on how you deal with those problems that helps gets you through.
I like change and I don't. There are some kinds of changes that I want to happen, and other times, I just want things to stay the same.
In the shower (that's one of the best places to think), I was thinking on where to transfer. (Yes, I am thinking about transferring to a different school.) And I know I want to go far, but not TOO far. My limit is in the United States. I want to go somewhere where I am not familiar with, somewhere that has the programs that I love, somewhere that I'll just love. It's hard because it takes a lot for me to really love something or anybody, for that matter. I was thinking, "Hmm.. maybe California."
Yet, I'm not sure. Ask me again in a couple months, then I'll let you know. I want to transfer in the Spring Semester, but sadly, most schools offer acceptance for just the fall semester.
Why do I always think way too ahead in life? Why?
