December 5
It's not that I'm trying to look for your acceptance.
I wanted to receive your love like I did before.
But at this point, I don't think I'll ever reach that. Ever. I'm not okay with that.
Like a slave, I try to do the things that I think you may enjoy. Try to act like I'm always interested. In any case, I am always dying for you to come up and talk to me and have you want to be around me.
You claim that you are searching for that number one person. I was that number one person. I'm sorry that I said no before. I was scared, uncertain for a gloomy future.
Ever since your mood swings have been hurting me. When you spoke to me, I was happy. In a blissful state of mind. Now, when you treat me like shit, I'm happy too because at least you're noticing me.
You hurt me. I think you've hurt me more than most people have ever hurt me in my whole lifetime. You probably don't recognize that.
I make excuses to talk to you or at least bump into you. Make my way closer to you. But you don't care.
You don't care how much I care for you. Or how much I adore you and your personality.
Your mood swings hurt me more than I can bare, but I still put up with it. I still ignore the times you've hurt me and still talk to you.
I think I'm going slightly mad. Mad for you. Maybe somewhat crazy over you. I wish I could stop. I wish I could let this feeling go away.
But it consumes me.
I try to hide the pain. I laugh with friends. Joke about my life.
Deep down, it hurts my insides. Like I am slowly becoming more anemic.
---
December 12
We spoke today. You don't want to relive the memories we had. You wanted the both of us to part our ways, still being "friends."
The grand memories we've shared is just a dim memory. I do not think I can bare with this, we switched positions. I am now the broken hearted.
I just broke in two.
A repair would be almost impossible,
It's not that I'm trying to look for your acceptance.
I wanted to receive your love like I did before.
But at this point, I don't think I'll ever reach that. Ever. I'm not okay with that.
Like a slave, I try to do the things that I think you may enjoy. Try to act like I'm always interested. In any case, I am always dying for you to come up and talk to me and have you want to be around me.
You claim that you are searching for that number one person. I was that number one person. I'm sorry that I said no before. I was scared, uncertain for a gloomy future.
Ever since your mood swings have been hurting me. When you spoke to me, I was happy. In a blissful state of mind. Now, when you treat me like shit, I'm happy too because at least you're noticing me.
You hurt me. I think you've hurt me more than most people have ever hurt me in my whole lifetime. You probably don't recognize that.
I make excuses to talk to you or at least bump into you. Make my way closer to you. But you don't care.
You don't care how much I care for you. Or how much I adore you and your personality.
Your mood swings hurt me more than I can bare, but I still put up with it. I still ignore the times you've hurt me and still talk to you.
I think I'm going slightly mad. Mad for you. Maybe somewhat crazy over you. I wish I could stop. I wish I could let this feeling go away.
But it consumes me.
I try to hide the pain. I laugh with friends. Joke about my life.
Deep down, it hurts my insides. Like I am slowly becoming more anemic.
---
December 12
We spoke today. You don't want to relive the memories we had. You wanted the both of us to part our ways, still being "friends."
The grand memories we've shared is just a dim memory. I do not think I can bare with this, we switched positions. I am now the broken hearted.
I just broke in two.
A repair would be almost impossible,
