So I promised an update. So here it is...
Going to New York on Thursday and Saturday was a lot of fun. It was great seeing my grandma and having a nice talk with her aid, Lisa. It prompted me to give my grandma things to make her occupied. I gave her my notebook that Brian gave me. I didn't write on it at all and I think my grandma will find it more useful. My grandma wrote actually, a lot before her psychologist took the notebook and never gave it back. It didn't make sense, so hopefully with this notebook (as well as some Mitch Albom books), she'll be occupied and become happier with more activities.
It kills me to see my grandma sit on that chair and just do nothing. I live by motion, she was the same way. We were literally the same person. She was always out and about, walking, always occupying herself with something inside the Big Apple. Now, I need to keep her on that schedule. I want my grandma to stay in motion, just how she was just a few years ago. I want her to get into writing and reading for now. Then perhaps some movies and crocheting. I'm not sure, but if you guys have any ideas, please let me know. I want to give what is best for my grandma.
Phantom of the Opera was good. I liked the movie better than the play. Maybe it's because I've seen the movie so much that I just love it, and Gerard Butler's voice is just so mesmerizing. Who knows. Or perhaps it's because of the fact that we sat at nearly the last row, all the way in the back. It was very hard to see, let alone understand the faces of the characters. I really should have brought binoculars.
Before I ran to see the Phantom, I got a new watch. Sulli accompanied me and she helped me pick it. It cost me a fortune ($102) but it includes a two year warranty, so if my watch effs up, I could just bring it in and they'll replace it or fix it. Just as simple as that. However, the warranty does not protect under the acts of Terrorism. Common Osama Bin Laden. Bring it on. The lady in the store was also really nice, she gave Sulli and I this free action figure thing. I'll take a picture of it and post it on here sometime.
It was also nice running to see the Phantom with Sulli and the rest of the gang. Since Sulli is so tall and I'm so tiny, we sort of complete each other (friendship wise, thanks) while walking in Times Square. Thank god for being so mobile and skinny. I can't thank you enough "small" bones.
Saturday was very hectic. I was in charge of the New York trip for IMPACT. Carolyn couldn't attend the trip, so Ann (our awesome IMPACT advisor, who is taking over Holly since she is on maternity leave) asked me if I wanted to do it and I oddly acquiesced. It was a really crazy job since everyone got my phone number, in case they needed to contact me with any questions. Since my phone's screen is still broken, I was having a hard time with answering calls. To make matters worse, five people didn't make it to the bus! I thought it was all my fault.
But previously...
During my Saturday New York trip (I obviously saw Grandma) but I also went with my aunts to go to Chinatown to eat. It was like... the worst time ever. I don't know, maybe my aunt was PMSing but she always has a knack to make me cry in public. Usually I don't, but what she was saying was downright ignorant and rude. She kept on downgrading the Add-Venture program and how creating a major is stupid. I told her to look it up online and she said it was nonsense. Then, I tried hard not to cry, but I thought about all the hardship I had to endure in my life and I couldn't help it. My aunt said I had some sort of odd emotional problems and both of my aunts were making me feel bad because I was crying. To them, it was as if crying wasn't normal. Usually, I don't cry in public. But when I think about my full 18 years of living, and all the stress I had that day, I couldn't help it. I was someone who's voice was stripped away. I wanted to say so much, yet if I do, I'd create more problems.
My other aunt was asking me what's wrong. It seems as if I can't really confine in anyone anymore. When both of my aunts kept on asking me, "What's wrong?" I cried even more. Because I realized that there wasn't really anybody in my life who I can just go up to and cry. Those people were far away, in Stroudsburg. I couldn't cry to my grandma because I'd make her sad. It's hard to really talk about my problems to my family in all honesty. Sometimes, they are the problem. And if they aren't, then most of the time, they won't listen to what I say. My aunts were making fun of the way I tell stories. They told me I bore and annoy them. I am sorry if I haven't seen you in a long time, let me celebrate with words... maybe not. That's why writing has helped.
Sorry if this whole aunts situation has confused anyone. I do not want to insert names for obvious reasons.
But to improve the day, my aunt drove me to the Nets game where I met up with Kerry, the Japanese students, hosts (like myself), and other students who wanted to see the game. I love these events because I got to see the game for free. It was also a cool bonding experience with one of my floormates. I never get to see her, or do I never get to really talk to her, so it was awesome sharing our love for basketball. And most certainly, getting into the game like a screaming fierce woman!
At the end of the day, I realized that I just wish there was somewhere out there that I could just go to and talk to about anything. Someone who would be really nice to me, despite my immense sensitivity. They wouldn't be offended if I was mad at them (sometimes, when people are really mean to me and when they start it I get really vicious. I mean, why would you be mean to a nice person in the first place? So, don't get me on my bad side. Honestly, it's not pretty, but I'll be mean to make a point. And usually, the message comes across effectively.) I want someone who would be a strong support system. I just wish someone was out there who could help me and comfort me. I need that shoulder sometimes, even though I may not look like I do.
Anyways, I am surprised on how well school is going for me and just more awesome events coming my way. Easter Break is coming up and I hope to see my Stroudsburg buddies. You know who you are!!
Ah crap, I still need to finish my books. Yes, I am still reading New Moon. I just don't have time anymore. I really need to make time for books because I was SUCH a book worm a few years ago. I'd read about 100 pages a day. I miss those days.
Here are some of the important events coming my way. I'll be adding more soon. I have other concerts to mention and my DC internship. I just still have to count down those days.. haha!
Wing Eating Contest: 2 days
Jeopardy and Brian: 3 days
Philly trip: 4 days
Easter Break: 9 days
Wind Ensemble Concert: 18 days
DC trip: 24 days
Spring Carnival/End of Classes: 38 days
