I clearly cannot sleep. Maybe it was because of the gigantic amount of coffee I had, curtosey of Cinnabon or the fact that I am upset. To some, it is kind of a stupid way to be upset, but that's who I am. Leave me alone.
As you may know, Conan O'Brien left "the Tonight Show." He left NBC. He left late night television. The vision is cloudy for Conan, but rest assured, I am still hoping that he'll return back to late night.
I watched Late Night with Conan O'Brien since I was about 11 or 12. I could remember being so young that the tv rating on the top corner would say "TV-14." Now, about six years later, I feel that I have grown with Conan. I followed him as he became an even bigger superstar as the years went by. His attitude and witty humor has influenced me a whole lot. I admired his writings. As serious as he made it, he also added a beautiful, humorous zing that just made his voice pop out of the paper and immediately made you smile and laugh. Now, as I emulate his humor to others, I wanted to be like him: bring smiles to people's faces.
I wasn't like many kids my age. I watched different movies, different tv shows, and listened to different music. Most of my friends did not watch or listen to the many stuff I did. I felt like the Odd One Out. (If you read my first ever blog entry on this, you'll understand.) I did not mind being different though. Sometimes, it was hard to find my peers with similarities. Instead, I shared more interests with older people. Not that it bothers me. I value my conversations with people who are older than me. Sometimes, I have been mistaken for being older. Definitely not because of how I look (because quite frankly, I look pretty young) but because on how I spoke.
As a kid, I watched Conan, CNN, and Oprah. (And I still do. Though, I am still trying to mourn the loss of my favorite talk-show hosts leaving/or have already left.) I was just an avid talk-show watcher. I wanted to be a talk-show host once. Sit at a desk, interview big names and make people laugh. A talk-show host and a journalist have many similarities. Sometimes, as I watch both CNN and talk-shows, I still try to figure out what I want to do. I love journalism but sometimes, it's too sad. I love comedy, but I also need the hard-studded facts that make viewers learn. That's the two occupations I've always had a hard time choosing between. If I combine the two, comedy and journalism, it turns into bootleg journalism like Jon Stewart. I don't want to be considered bootleg, thank you very much.
Speaking of bootleg, I want to see Carson Daly out of late night. Nobody really watches him anyways; why the hell is he still on air? He should go back to MTV. I just wish NBC didn't take out Jay Leno in the first place. Why say you'll stop doing the Tonight Show, then you host an earlier show, then NBC brainstorms all this random, messed up bullshit. Ugh. I don't even want to think about this. It's just too heartbreaking for me to comprehend.
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Today, well, technically yesterday, I went to the Rally for Life march in Washington DC. It was this place where extreme pro-life people gather together and create a lot of rucus in DC. I only went because I was curious to see a groups of staunch pro-life people join forces against American politics. It was all really religious. I mean, I guess I am sort of pro-life, but not due to a religious standpoint. But in a more personal, dramatic foundation: My mom became pregnant when she was 20. My father, whom I don't really talk to much, told my mom to get an abortion. She was hesitant on that idea, but decided to go to a clinic and see what's up. The doctor told my mom, "Sorry, we cannot perform an abortion. Her head is too big." So with my big head, I am still alive today.
It's sad hearing about abortions and all. I just did not like the fact that many pro-life people were too extreme. Some even went to random poles in Washington and posted pictures of aborted babies. They compared it to the African genocide and the Holocaust. It was very messed up to post theses pictures. Especially if a young child catches a glimpse of sad pictures like that. I remember a poster from the Ralley, where a women said abortion was a much bigger problem than terrorism. I'm not sure about that.
While the pro-life people were marching, I decided to go my own way. I wanted to go to the Smithsonian. I've always wanted to go there and since the people from Lehigh University's Holy Ghost Parish Church wasn't really watching us, I decided to leave. Clearly, this march and rally was not for a person like me. I'm not so extreme afterall. Plus, I am a liberal damn it.
The pro-life people were walking straight and I needed to go right. So, I screamed "MOM!" and all these people let me go through, giving me the ultimate chance to run away from the march and reach a blissful refuge. It was wonderful. The next time I decide to go to the "rally" I am going to skip it and head to the Smithsonian again. The bus ride was free and so was the lunch. Good deal.
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So, I am supposed to be awake in about two hours for another USG retreat. I still cannot believe the news. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm in a bad dream. Running away from something that will always be following me. No matter what.
I know that throughout life, I am bound to loose the many things I love. Unfortunately, it is still hard for me to live with those losses, even though it may seem small to others. To me, late night was a way of life. A way of fulfillment. The way that Conan O'Brien helped me through life as an 11 year old to an 18 year old (and beyond). He made me laugh when my days were morose. And made me cry for the past couple of nights because of the news.
With his ways, I have done the same for others. I made people laugh. That is my everyday goal since I was young. Without Conan, I probably wouldn't have been that person to make you laugh.
Conan if you get bored and stumble across this "blog," I just want to say,
Thanks...for everything you've done.
To be continued--
