It's official. The news is out. Tell your friends. Grab your cameras. Get your reporter's notebooks ready because this is one story that is going to grab your attention..
Okay not really. But I can you what you are going to read is pure fact.
I don't have regrets. I learn from my mistakes and I move on, becoming a somewhat better person. But I do regret one thing: Falling in love.
I met a person who was too good to be true. Who said they'll always be there for me. Said that they would do anything for me. That I was their whole world. They claim that they love me and always will.
But to me, it was somewhat of a lie. A deep rooted lie that stuck the core, made me delirious, and not like myself. Every good thing that this person told me was down the drain. It was like a bad dream that I wanted to wake up from, but soon realized that it was reality. If only sleeping could remove me out of this darkness.
You probably might ask what happened. But as simple as this: They didn't stick up for me. Just for the sake of keeping his "vacation" at peace.
Paramore's "Never Let This Go" is the pure essence of my mood.
Because, at this point in time, I have absolutely no idea who this person I've fallen in love with anymore. I don't really know him anymore. Or his intentions. Or just anything. It seems like one big fake lie.
Listening to all these songs where the singer is talking about falling so in love and then just wanting to take it all away, and they just can't. It's such a terrible thing. And on top of that, the circle of people around him are pointing fingers at me, knowing all the "bad" things that I've done and just saying all these mean things to me.
-----
He didn't defend me. After all these girls and guys, friends and not, telling me that he wasn't good enough for me. That he wasn't a good looking person, whatever they said, I still stuck up for him. I went all the way. I told everyone how wonderful of a guy he was, yet for this one occasion. It was nothing. It was just a mere silence that made the car erupt in flames.
You fall so in love. And every essence of that love, it's so pure, so fresh in your mind, in your heart, that makes you all the crazier. And when something like this, that can break your heart so quickly, can make you messed up in the worst way. In a way that you are bitter to him. You aren't yourself.
The bad things you've seen of me wasn't my fault. It was all your doing (or maybe L-O-V-E.. or maybe a delightful combination of both). Too much to explain, you'll probably understand. But I'm not normally like this. I'm usually that happy kid that loves life. Not this despondent creature who wishes for some miracle.
I'm sorry for falling in love with you. And causing you all this pain.
I wish I could just take it all back.
But as sad as it sounds, I just can't.
