Life is hard yet it's exciting.
Music helps too. And so does smiles. Those are delightful. Why can't people smile more? I hate seeing those straight faces that probably hint hatred. It's sickening to my stomach. Why can't everybody just love one another and accept people for who they are instead of living in this fantasy world on who is their perfect person.
Another thing that I don't like is when people stare at me. Why do it? Why waste your time looking at me when you should be looking at the road, your music piece, the music director, etc instead of looking at me and my "misfortunes." It seems as if people are looking at me all the time. Sometimes I feel like I should wear a bag over my head that says, "POLICE CROSSING! LOOK AWAY!" and see where they'll look instead of my uncouth face.
I don't really know if I'm likable or not. But the thing I want everyone to know is what Kurt Cobain said: I rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not.
Honestly, if you like me or don't like me because of how I seem, get to know me. I'm not afraid to show you who I am. How I act. What I like. What I hate. I'll let you know if you want. You ask me questions, I ask you questions, we answer. It's a team effort.
LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU MEAN IT DAMN IT!#$%^&*
I guess I have just another phobia to add to the list.
1.) Tuning my cello
2.) Spiders... only in my room.
3.) When people stare at me
4.) Lying.
^^Sometimes, when there are serious things being said to me, it'll sound too good to be true. I'll get so skeptical and I'll analyze their actions to see if they are really being truthful to me or not. I just don't want to be hurt. Nobody does. But still.
Great.
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There are times where I just want to be alone, walk around, read, listen to classical music, write, and most ultimately, sleep. That would be a nice, easy going lifestyle. I could just do whatever without worrying what activity or speech to present. That'll be really nice. But considering the job I want to pursue in the future, I don't think I could live the easygoing, free loving lifestyle just yet. It's going to be a lot of pressure. Damn.
Damn me for having so many interests!!!! DAMN!
Plus, it feels as if I don't have time to clean the kitty litter. I have a feeling that's one of the triggers that is getting me sick. Ugh! I hate waking up to a nasty ass throat! It's eww.
Wow it's almost 1am. At least I added some amazing Chester French songs to my iPod. That's something to look forward in the Ecology field trip tomorrow. (Okay technically today.)
