The other day, I had a dream that I was an intense smoker. I was so depressed in my dream that my only way to escape my problems was smoking. And in that dream, I was in a very dark store, trying to shop. The weird thing is, it was just too dark. You couldn't really see things correctly - like it was all blurred out. The only thing you could've saw was yourself, your own skin. It was like I was running through darkness and I couldn't find the exit.
Today, I felt like that. My mother wouldn't let me go to the MVC Championships for basketball because my "grades were too low." I had all A's except for two C's. They were my worst subjects. They were the most challenging too. My mom claims I'm never home, but she never told me this before. It was until now she had to bring it up to BH's mom.
'Till this day, I don't have any respect for my mom. She likes to take away any happiness I have and eradicate it - leaving it to rot with dust. I suffered and cried a lot. Currently, I have a bad cough and with trying to tell her how much I needed to go, I coughed really hard. It was so bad, I couldn't even breathe. I was falling on the ground - that's how bad the cough was. And on top of that, my mother was looking at me like I was diseased.
That's when I lost all of my respect for her.
I can't look at her the same way again because she didn't care. She just looked at me while I was coughing to the point where I couldn't breathe. What kind of mother is that? What kind of mother who doesn't listen to their child - thinking that they are inferior because they have mediocre grades in honors/ap classes?
I just can't wait to get away from her and that I wouldn't have to call her my guardian.
At least I have loving friends and grandparents.
