Quite honestly, I cannot describe today. It has been full of emotions and I suppose in the long run, it sucked because I could already feel my insides burning with hate.
Not that I hate anyone, I’m just sick and tired of what people are doing… a lot of it is basically the same ol’ shit.
Just to put it out there, of course I’m not going to be perfect at sight-reading. So to already say that I’m messing up it’s just exasperating to the point of no return – to tell you the truth. And for some to witness the obvious, I just want to scream, “Okay! I get that already. Why won’t you fucking occupy yourself with better things to do rather then noticing things that everyone else can.”
There are just days where I wanted to be left alone, but it was the exact opposite. People were coming up to me in all directions and sometimes, I just can’t handle it. I tried getting away as best as I could, but the hoard of people came closer. Already, I could feel that I am weak and sad inside and that just adds more stress to look happy.
Some guy went up to me who plays cymbals in Marching Band and said that he felt bad for my brother. I curiously asked him why and then he blatantly tells me that he kicked my brother out of “his” lunch table. He claims that my brother is a dork and whatnot. I’m sorry, but seriously, look who’s talking? That cymbalist kid could never shut the fuck up for Christ’s sake. Sometimes, I feel sorry for him, to tell you the truth. Stuff like that depresses me. When you’re mean to my brother, you have to be mean to me first. (I am the big sister… quite obviously.)
I fucking hate kids who judge someone just because they seem weird. They might just be a very nice kid after all. We’re all guilty of that, but god damn, there wouldn’t be much problems in our world if we stopped being ignorant about others and just opened our eyes to the opportunities encompassing us.
Most of the time, I think I am feeling best when I’m either sleeping or walking through the streets of New York or Philadelphia. But sadly, I can’t sleep. I had a long rest then was intended but that was because nobody woke me up with force. (Sounds odd.)
But that’s one of my biggest pet peeves, actually. Suppose I should just go home for now on.
Maybe I’ll feel much better tomorrow. Though, I highly doubt it. I can already feel my bones getting brittle.
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I just saw a huuuuuuge spider crawling on top of my hoodies.
Fuck.
It's gone.
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Random, but the song "Autobiography" by Ashlee Simpsons really fits my mood. Oddly enough.
& 7 years. Will never forget.
